


The Clubhouse

by Nemainofthewater



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Firefly, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Loki is River's dad, and Simons, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 23:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15181625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemainofthewater/pseuds/Nemainofthewater
Summary: Loki invades the Joss Whedon clubhouse. What nefarious purpose does he have?





	The Clubhouse

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published 20/11/2011

“Greetings mortals. And Slayer.”

“Ok, what is a D&D extra doing in our clubhouse? I thought it was exclusive here!” complained Xander loudly.

“Exclusive for Joss Whedon characters.” Replied Loki.

“Yeah, but you’re not one of them.”

 “Haven’t you heard? Who do you think the director for the Avengers is?”

Xander spluttered in outrage.

“That does not make you one of His characters! He didn’t create you, did he?”

“Ah, but it’s just enough for me to break through the wards defending this place. By the way, I left a rather large man unconscious outside. It might be wise of you to retrieve him before any lasting damage occurs.”

“Why!” said Buffy, “What did you do to him!”

“Nothing. I simply turned that gun he likes into a boa constrictor. Last I saw, he was having a little cuddle. I would assume you’d like to get to him before anything happens? You can still make it if you leave now.”

Willow sprang to her feet, and rushed out the door, her Magics ready at her fingertips.

“What do you want?” asked Giles coolly.

“Nothing from you.” Said Loki, “I merely want to borrow someone for the foreseeable future.”

“Borrow someone? What, like steal them? ‘Cause, buddy, if you think you can waltz in here and just kidnap someone.”

“Actually I’ve come to collect my daughter. Are you ready River dear?”

River glided out from behind the pillars where she had been hiding.

“Of course Daddy.” She said sweetly.

Loki turned to walk back out the door, only to find that he was confronted with a large array of weapons. Guns mostly, but Buffy had a crossbow, and Willow’s eyes were glowing black.

“Really children, can’t we play nicely?” sighed Loki, before waving a hand, and transforming the weapons into plastic foam swords.

He then held out a hand to his daughter, and walked past the various characters, all of whom he had frozen.

Mal Reynolds eyes glared at him balefully, but Loki, with the ease of long practice, ignored him.

As the pair walked out the Clubhouse, the heroes could hear their conversation drifting back.

  “Now dear, we’ll just go and collect your brother, then we’ll do something fun! What do you want to do?”

“Let’s go and see Uncle Thor Daddy!”

“A wonderful idea. We haven’t seen him in so long! Now what do you think darling, an evil army of robots, or an enormous marshmallow man?”

“Let’s have a dragon Daddy!”


End file.
